BFFF
by Inupez
Summary: A small series of oneshots that connect together about the Brotherhood and their crazyness. Revolves around the song "BFFF" by Bowling for Soup.
1. The Song

**A/N – **Okay so here's the song, just in case you've never heard it (most people haven't). When I heard this for some odd reason my thoughts went to these guys (I know, I have issues). Anyways next chapter is the actual story.

**P.S – **I don't own the song (by bowling for soup) or the characters

**"BFFF"**

**By Bowling For Soup**

You are my best friend in the world.  
>And I hope that you know,<br>when we hangout together,  
>it's freakin' awesome.<p>

Playing poker Friday night,  
>Beer-amantic golf cart races,<br>You think that my sister's hot,  
>I accidentally shot your finger<br>off your writing hand, oh well  
>you get disability.<br>I broke my leg you laughed so hard  
>and told the ambulance to stop at the bar.<p>

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say  
>that I really and truly feel this way,<br>not that there's anything wrong with being gay,

And sometimes we punch each other in the face  
>like when I hit on your mom and got to second base,<br>I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way.

We fart and burp in the same key,  
>and I think your iPod sucks.<br>You make fun of my hair because yours is…disappearing.

I've seen your penis you've seen mine  
>I popped your pimples, you<br>rubbed aloe vera on my sun burnt back

You went in fits when I shit my pants  
>you felt my girls' brand new boobs<br>you asked to suck them she refused  
>so while you slept I shaved your head<br>you woke up and told me that I...

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say  
>that I really and truly feel this way<br>not that there's anything wrong with being gay

And sometimes we punch each other in the face  
>like when I hit on your mom and got to second base<br>I know you know I love you (I freakin love you dude)  
>I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way.<p>

Na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na

Na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na

You'll tell the world I'm gay when you hear me say  
>that I really and truly feel this way,<br>not that there's anything wrong with being gay,

And sometimes we punch each other in the face  
>like when I hit on your mom and got to second base<br>I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way.

Na,na,na,na,na,na,

Na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na


	2. Golf Cart Race!

**Golf Cart Race!**

"Okay it's from here to the 18th hole," Lance informed the others with a scary gleam in his eye. He dropped the seat back down and looked up. "I made a few changes to all three of the carts. They should be way faster then last time,"

"Sweeeet," Toad giggled from the roof of his golf cart. He jumped down and into to the drivers seat still giggling and unable to keep still. A by-passer looked extremely terrified.

"Is Blob down there yet?" Pietro asked shielding his eyes from the sun. "I can't see him,"

"Who cares!" Toad whined still behind the wheel jumping up and down. "lets go!"

"We have to wait for him to get into place or we won't know who wins!" Pietro growled from his golf cart.

"And you know Pete," Lance rolled his eyes. "has to be competitive about everything,"

"What's the point of racing if you don't want to win?"

Toad growled in annoyance. "Let's go!" he whined.

Lance laughed and got in the drivers seat of his golf cart. "Okay on the count of three. One…"

"THREE!" Toad yelled hitting the gas and throwing grass behind him.

* * *

><p>"Owww!" Toad yelled out holding his leg.<p>

Blobs eyes were still wide. "I've never seen a golf cart roll like that,"

Pietro still couldn't stop laughing. "Th-th-that was awesome!"

"You need to hold still," the paramedic told Toad as they flew through another red light.

"It hurts!"

"Well it's broken, it going to," the paramedic sighed. Pietro broke into another fit of laughter.

"Those poor golfers," Blob shook his head in his hands.

"Their in the other ambulances," the paramedic told him pointing to the parade of ambulances following behind them.

"Hey," Lance leaned up to the driver. "you think we could stop at Mac's Bar down on Ratt Street?"

"Yeah!" Blob jumped up causing the ambulance to shake.

"WHAT!" Toad yelled. "I'm dying here and you want to stop for a beer?"

Lance turned to look at him. "Well duh,"

The paramedic looked at him in stunned shock and Pietro finally fell on the floor laughing too hard.


	3. An Average Day

**An Average Day **

(Morning)

"Pietro please!" Toad whined.

"I am not popping your nasty pimple!" Pietro yelled.

"Please! I can't reach it!" he begged.

"Go ask Lan-"

"NO!" came a voice behind Lance's door.

Pietro groaned.

"I rubbed aloe vera all over your back this summer! You owe me damnit!"

Pietro's face turned red and Lance's laughter could be heard through his door.

"Fine!" he yelled cursing the sun as Toad smiled.

"Hey guys?" Blob walked out of the bathroom rubbing his head.

"What?" Pietro asked trying not to laugh.

"Is it possible for hair to shrink?"

"I don't know Fred, why?"

"No reason," he mumbled before walking away.

Toad sighed. "Poor guy still hasn't figured out you've been cutting his hair while he sleeps huh?"

"Nope!" Pietro smirked. "he should learn not to make fun of the color of other peoples hair,"

(Mid-day)

"That's nothing! Listen to this," Toad laughed before a loud RIP was heard through the house followed by a horrible stench.

"Whoa!" Blob laughed. "I can do that too!"

"Will you two cut that out!" Pietro yelled from up the stairs. "Your sticking up the hole house!"

"Fine," they both sighed.

BURRRRBBBB was heard next followed by a lot of laughter and swearing.

(Afternoon)

"I told you I was sorry," Blob whined.

"Sorry? Sorry doesn't grow my finger back!" Toad yelled.

"And that is why you don't play with mystiques gun, Fred," Pietro shook his head and patted the big guy on the back.

(Night)

Wanda folded her hands together and looked up at her ceiling. "Lord…..why?"


	4. Poker Night

**Poker Night**

"Grab the beers from the fridge," Lance called to Toad in the kitchen.

"I'm not your slave!" he yelled back.

"Do it or I'll tell everyone Pietro slept with your mom," Lance called back.

"I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS HIS MOM!" Pietro yelled running in from the living room. "AND IT DIDN'T GET THAT FAR!"

"And you were drunk, remember?" Fred added.

"Yeah that too!"

Toad came out with the beers and was sending the death glare at Pietro. "That's the only reason your not in a coma," he mumbled.

Lance repressed his laughter as he grabbed the beers from the fuming Toad.

"Oh no," Wanda gasped when she walked in with Tabby. "is it poker night already?"

"Yep," Lance said grabbing the cards and shuffling.

"Wanna join sweetums?" Toad asked completely forgetting his anger towards her brother.

"I told you never to call me that!" Wanda yelled. "and no, I don't want to join,"

"I do!" Tabby shouted while planting herself into a chair.

"God help you," Wanda said before turning on her heels and walking back out.

* * *

><p>"How the Hell did this turn into strip poker!" Lance yelled taking off his pants.<p>

Tabby giggled. "this is fun,"

"I think she's played this before," Fred said clad only in his dinosaur boxers.

"Ya think!" Pietro huffed and crossed his arms.

"Come on speedy," Tabby smirked. "not embarrassed are you?"

Pietro rolled his eyes, but couldn't hide the blush that covered his face.

"This is the last time we let Tabby talk us into anything," Pietro groaned as he went to remove the only clothing left on him.

* * *

><p>Wanda walked into the dining room cautiously. Tabby walked in with a beer in her hand.<p>

"Where's the guys?" Wanda asked looking around.

"In their rooms," Tabby laughed. "they decided to call it an early night,"

"Oh," Wanda said slightly confused. "have a good game?"

"Yeah. It was very informative," she smirked.

"What do you mean?"

"I finally figured out what Kitty sees in Lance,"


	5. Lunch Time

**Lunch Time**

"Lunch!" Blob called through the house.

"What is it?" Lance asked cautiously walking into the kitchen.

"Mystery Stu," Blob grinned.

"I'm not sure I want it." Pietro mumbled stiffing it.

"I DO!" Toad yelled sitting at the table holding out his bowl.

Blob smiled and poured some in Toad's bowl. "Come on guys," he flashed his puppy dog eyes at Lance and Pietro. "I worked really hard on it,"

The two mutants looked at each other with worry on their faces.

"Fine," the two of them sighed.

(Right after Lunch)

"LANCE GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM!" Pietro yelled banging on the bathroom door.

"GO FIND ANOTHER PLACE TO GO!" Lance yelled back. "I'M A LITTLE BUSY AT THE MOMENT!"

"What the hell was in that stu Blob!" Toad whined crossing his legs and biting his bottom lip.

"Oh a bunch of stuff," Blob smiled. "carrots, potatoes, ex-lax,"

"WHAT!" Pietro and Toad yelled in unison. They heard Lance whimper through the bathroom door.

"Why the hell would you do that to us!" Pietro more moaned then yelled.

"Because I figured out that you were cutting my hair at night and the rest of you all knew," he frowned.

"That's no reason to mess with a guy's bowels man!" Toad groaned.

"You are such a dead man," Pietro mumbled before speeding through the house out the front door.

"Oh shit!" Toad yelled closing his eyes tight.

"Bad choice of words," Blob laughed and grabbed his nose shut.

"I SWEAR TO GOD, YOU ARE GOING TO DIE FRED DUKES!" Lance yelled.

Toad screamed as he fell down the stairs and ran out the front door.

Needless to say, Blob couldn't stop laughing.


End file.
